Kuna Melba News, March 27, 2013
Dear Mr. Newspaperman,
I’m expecting and my husband and I are having a very difficult time coming up with a name for our child. We decided to not learn the gender of our baby and have been trying to come up with gender-neutral names. We were hoping you could help us out.
Sincerely,
Anonymous, Kuna
Dear Anonymous,
Having been raised in the more southerly portions of the U.S. I have always been fond of two-name names. Many are used for either boys or girls such as Bobby Jo or Billy Lou but often these names result in teasing. Teasing can make a child tougher though. I tried to name my own son “Sue” after the Johnny Cash song written by Shel Silverstein but my wife put her foot down.
A quick search on the Internet can reveal quite a few great sites for names. Within five minutes I found a site for you. At http://www.babynames1000.com they have a blog post that addresses the gender neutral question. Using baby name statistics from 2011, they suggest names like Dakota, Justice, Jessie, Phoenix, Finley, Quinn and Sage.
I recommend looking out your window at plants and birds to inspire your choices. Take a look in your spice cabinet. I’ve always thought Curry would be a great name for a kid. A few weeks before my daughter was born I was gazing out my window at my beautiful patch of Zinnias that were growing like weeds. That’s how my own
spawn got her name.
Dear Mr. Newspaperman,
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day then why are there locks on the doors?
Sincerely,
Scott S., Kuna
Dear Scott,
There are locks to keep out the zombies. But, seriously, this question is one of those brain buster type puzzles that motivates one to think of a really stupid answer to give.
You know this is a common question because as one types it into Google search, Google tries to guess what you
are going to ask. The first suggestion after you type
“Why does 7-11…” is
“Why does 7-11 have locks?”
So, you expended more effort to write me a question than it would have taken you to look it up yourself. Here’s the top list of six answers I like.
1. The name 7-11 originally refers to the hours of operation, 7 a.m. until 11 p.m. Therefore, a business would need to lock the doors while it was closed.
2. Convenience store doors are built with locks in them, not custom made without locks.
3. Sometimes the store does close, especially on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving although this is happening less and less.
4. If an employee is by
himself and needs to “go”
then they might need to lock a door.
5. They need to close on occasion to do inventory. They do this in the middle of the night.
6. In the event of a robbery, natural disaster or some other freakish emergency like a zombie apocalypse then the store might need to close for a short while… at least until they restock the gum.
Remember, there are no dumb questions, just dumb answers. Send your dumb question to editor@KunaMelba.com.